If you’re reading this, it likely means you’ve lost someone dear to you. Let me start by saying I’m truly sorry for your loss. Writing an obituary may feel overwhelming, especially if you’ve never done it before, but it’s also a powerful way to honor your loved one’s memory and share their story.
Let’s walk through it together, starting with the basics.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written notice that announces the death of someone and celebrates their life. It serves as both an announcement and a tribute, often including details about their personality, achievements, and the relationships that defined their life.
In today’s world, obituaries go beyond simply informing others—they’re a way to reflect on a person’s legacy, share their story, and even provide comfort to those mourning the loss.
The Purpose of an Obituary
Now that we’ve defined what an obituary is, let’s talk about why it’s important.
A well-written obituary does more than announce a death; it:
- Informs the community about the passing and service details.
- Celebrates the life, achievements, and passions of the deceased.
- Connects family, friends, and acquaintances, offering them a way to grieve together.
- Preserves the memory of your loved one for future generations as a keepsake or historical record.
In short, an obituary is a snapshot of a life well-lived. It’s your chance to show who your loved one was and why they mattered.
Step-by-Step Guide to Writing an Obituary
Here’s how to create an obituary that’s both meaningful and practical.
1. Start with the Basics
This part is straightforward: provide the essential details. Include:
- Full name: Add nicknames or maiden names if relevant.
- Age, birthdate, and date of passing: Keep these accurate and clear.
- Place of birth and death: Mention where they were born and where they passed.
- Cause of death: Optional—only share this if the family is comfortable.
Example:
“Elizabeth Ann Thompson (née Carter), 82, passed away peacefully on December 15, 2024, at her home in Austin, Texas, surrounded by her family.”
This gives readers a respectful and clear announcement of your loved one’s passing.
2. Share Their Life Story
This is where you can paint a picture of who they were. Consider:
- Career and accomplishments: What did they dedicate their life to?
- Passions and hobbies: What brought them joy?
- Personality traits: Were they humorous, generous, adventurous?
- Milestones: Highlight things like education, military service, or significant achievements.
Write conversationally—focus on what made them unique and loved.
Example:
“Elizabeth was a gifted artist and teacher who spent over 40 years inspiring students with her love for painting. Her garden was her sanctuary, and she was known for her bright sunflowers that brought smiles to the neighborhood. She was a voracious reader and an unbeatable Scrabble player who never missed her Friday book club.”
Don’t stress about listing every detail. Focus on what best represents their life.
3. Acknowledge Family and Close Relationships
Here’s where you honor the people who were important in their life. Mention:
- Surviving family members: Spouse, children, siblings, grandchildren, etc.
- Predeceased loved ones: Parents, siblings, or others who passed before them.
Example:
“Elizabeth is survived by her devoted husband of 60 years, James; her children, Sarah and Michael; her sister, Margaret; and her three cherished grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her parents, Thomas and Clara Carter.”
This section helps readers understand their family ties and the depth of their connections.
4. Include Service Details
Make sure to include the logistics for any services. Be as clear as possible.
- Date, time, and location: Where and when will the service take place?
- Additional instructions: Dress code, virtual attendance links, or memorial preferences.
Example:
“A celebration of Elizabeth’s life will be held on January 5, 2025, at 2:00 PM at Grace Church, 123 Main Street, Austin, Texas. Guests are encouraged to wear bright colors in her honor.”
This ensures that everyone who wants to attend knows where to go and how to participate.
5. Add Personal Touches
This is where you bring your loved one’s personality to life. Consider adding:
- A favorite quote or saying.
- A funny or heartwarming story that shows who they were.
- Suggestions for honoring their memory (e.g., charitable donations).
Example:
“Elizabeth often said, ‘Art is how we speak when words aren’t enough.’ In her honor, the family asks that donations be made to the Austin Art Collective, a nonprofit supporting young artists.”
This section helps make the obituary feel personal and meaningful.
Expert Tips for Writing an Obituary
- Be Authentic: Let their personality shine. If they loved humor, add a lighthearted touch.
- Keep It Balanced: Share emotions but also stick to clear, factual details.
- Edit Carefully: Double-check for spelling, grammar, and accuracy.
- Ask for Feedback: Share the draft with family to make sure it feels right.
Examples to Inspire You
Short and Simple
“Robert James Carter, 88, passed away on December 18, 2024, in Dallas, Texas. A lifelong mechanic and devoted husband, he loved fishing, baseball, and spending time with his grandchildren. He is survived by his wife, Clara, and their children, Mark and Rachel. A private family service will be held.”
Detailed and Personal
“Angela Marie Collins, 53, left this world on December 10, 2024, in Seattle, Washington. Angela was a nurse, a mother, and a fierce advocate for mental health awareness. She loved hiking, baking, and making people laugh with her witty sense of humor. She is survived by her daughters, Emily and Olivia, and her sister, Danielle. A memorial service will take place on January 15, 2025, at the Bluebird Café, 456 Pine Street, Seattle. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).”
Writing an obituary isn’t easy, but it’s a way to give your loved one the send-off they deserve. Take your time, focus on what made them special, and don’t hesitate to lean on family or friends for help. You’re creating something meaningful that will keep their memory alive for years to come.